Real Life Parenting #609

IDK who writes the books on parenting but it’s full of lies!  Okay maybe not lies but definitely half truths; and there seems to be several chapters missing. So let me help them and you.

THICK SKIN

This is a natural occurrence once your children are of talking age. Why?  Because they are going to embarrass the crap out of you. Even if it’s only you and them present, their tiny elf like superiority will reign over you as you stumble for a comeback/answer.

Example:  Last night I was playing just dance with my littles. Having a GREAT time, it’s one of my favorite games. When the four year old turns around MIDSONG and so thoughtfully asks me “Why is your mouth open?” …WHAT?! I gasp as I am trying not to quit dancing because I intend to win. “Why are you dancing with your mouth open?” Now all the children have turned to look at me. And the asker of the question stands there with her little hands clasped together in front of her like some little leader of the minions. I mean maybe I was breathing hard. I mean I should have been as I was applying a great deal of effort to the activity. Who was she to question my dancing face?!?! So you know what I told her?… “I DON’T KNOW!!!!  JUST DANCE!!!”

Or how bout the time I took my son to the doctor and I bend down to tie his shoe and he says “Mommy show the doctor how you take your ponytail off!” As he so Lovingly rubs my hair.

Or when my daughter told me how much she likes my costume. “Oh thats just my bra and panties” I inform her as I am getting dressed and she says “No.  Those.” And points to my stretch marks…even doing a clawing motion in an attempt to point to each one simultaneously.

How bout instructing them to clean up only to have them assume that this means we are having company.

One day I was hanging out at my bestie’s house with our kiddos, her mom, and her grandma. So her grandma notices that no one is eating their pizza crust so she starts to collect them all. My daughter, of course, asks “Why is she taking everyone’s food?”  I tell her that she is cleaning up the food that no one wants. Do you know what my daughter said next?  I bet you can’t guess.  She looked at my best friend’s grandma and said “I don’t like you” I nearly hit the floor! Of course I scolded her and told her it was rude and wasn’t nice but the grandma was like “what did she say?” I told her nothing but my daughter simply looked at her and repeated it. “I don’t like you”. Just like that. Straight face, dry tone, and frank. Well of course the grandma is taken back. She even tells her that they don’t even know each other so how can she not like her. After my daughter asked her her name I took her out the room. I couldn’t handle it.

I’ve been in the game almost 9 years!!! I’m still patching up wounds on skin that hasn’t thickened yet smh

My husband is trying to kill me

Seriously. Or wish the worst on me. However you spin it it’s not a good look.


A couple of weeks ago I had a stiff neck, only on the left side but it lasted for over a week!  On about the sixth or seventh day I am in my daughters closet trying to find her something to wear and my husband walks by and somehow it comes up that my neck is still bothering me. Do you know what he said to me…”Are you sure you’re not having a stroke?”  I can’t make this stuff up.  I won’t tell you my response just know that he will call 911 before he asks me that again.


Just last week, after a long day out, we come home and took our shoes off, I mention that my ankles are swollen and he comes back with “Do you have gout?”  How can I grow old gracefully when I have some trying to rush me off the scene?!?! If I say I have a headache he asks me if it’s because I’m getting older. If I stay in the bathroom a long time he tells me I should drink prune juice. If I say my stomach hurts I have gas and I just need to let it out.

I’ve heard of hypochondriacs but what do you call a person that projects that onto someone else? (Cause I’m too lazy to look it up.). Anyone else’s spouse do this?

Bathroom Remodel

Ok so last summer I gathered all my supplies and prepared to remodel my upstairs bathroom.  Then something happened and I chickened out about tiling my own floor and wall so I reached out to someone with experience and it’s a good thing I did because watching him work I realized that I had no idea what I was  doing.  YouTube made me believe I could do it…I’m not sure that I could have.

My bathroom is relatively small but one look at the pictures and you will see that there was still a lot of work to be done.


Everything had to go, the tile on the wall, the linoleum, that yucky plastic shower kit around the tub, ALL OF IT!


 

The sink cost me about $70, the floor tile about $30, the back splash about $20, the paint about $15 (color is Alaskan Skies by Benjamin Moore), and the painting is by me.  Not too bad overall.  Still some a few more touches I want to add (ditch the blinds and possibly add stencil to the window, new light fixtures, cover those marks on the outside of the tub) but hey, this is home.  I’m excited to do the other bathroom.

Bathroom makeover

Vegan Fails

The struggle is real.  That’s the best way to start this entry.  I am struggling on every level.  2 out of 3 of my children won’t eat it.  My husband cooks meat.  Produce rots in my refrigerator.  I eat french fries daily.  I pack the same thing over and over for my children.  When going out to eat with coworkers…well it can be difficult.  And I can’t tell you how many failed recipes I’ve managed to well…FAIL!

V#2016goals

I’ve tried three different versions of macaroni and cheese none of which I would dare serve to any guest; if I had a picture I would post it.  I’ve failed at spring rolls; won’t even go into details about that but I will include a picture.

 

YOU SEE!!!!!  What is happening to me?!?!?!  I used to consider myself a good cook, and now…I wouldn’t dare serve this food to anyone outside of my immediate family.

Now I have tried a jackfruit recipe that might have been okay but I wouldn’t know because I don’t like barbecue sauce, or any type of red sauce for that matter.

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Pulled jackfruit barbecue

Now let me say this, I have experienced some positive things on this journey.  My period is lighter and shorter, and I don’t have cramps anymore; my headaches have subsided; and I don’t hit that 2 o’clock slump.  And according to other people I have lost weight!  So I will try to stay focused on the positive, in the meantime if anyone out there can recommend a vegan macaroni and cheese recipe leave it in the comment section below!

Pink Party

So I’ve been a home owner for a little over two years now and I have attempted a few DIY projects and some things I have outsourced to those who are a little more skilled in those areas.  Now when we moved into our home EVERY SINGLE WALL WAS WHITE.  It didn’t bother me initially, I sort of looked at it as a blank canvas; at some point it became institutional like and something had to be done. So about a year and a half in I got motivated.

Along with many other women in our society I am a Pinterest connoisseur.  If you name it I have pinned it and can probably give you some pointers…though very few of those pins have I actually attempted.  So I began to look at different color schemes and painting techniques (link to board included below) and stumbled across a pin about painting your ceiling, which led me to search for painted ceilings.  BINGO!!!  This was it, simple, small scale, different.  I could handle this.

Now I am not the fru-fru-girly type but I like pretty things.  I had a pretty picture of an orchid hanging in my hallway and a cherry blossom wall sticker so I decided to take the pink and run with it.  Plus I knew there weren’t too many rooms in the house that my husband was going to be okay with me painting pink.  Okay on to the good stuff!!!

So as you can see it is a small space and there were already some consistent colors.  Please ignore the photo frame in the second picture that still has the demo pictures in it.  At least I got the frame up, that was half the battle.  I headed to my local hardware store and purchased all the trimmings!  I bought an extender, a roller, an edger, painters tape, something to paint in the corners, paint tray, paint; everything except a paint brush…which I didn’t realize until the kids went to bed and I got started.  I actually thought I wouldn’t need a paint brush because I had the roller buuuuuut turns out the roller was too big for the narrow spaces and I ended up having to use the thing intended for corners which led to a horribly drippy mess; but in the end I was VERY pleased with how it turned out.

So what do you think?!  Feel free to comment below.  If you have a painted ceiling please leave a picture.

 

 

Cabbage Steak

So I tried a new recipe over the weekend!  I just googled vegan ways to cook cabbage or tahini recipes and I came across a page with a cabbage steak recipe.

Am I the only one who sees a cooking show video and wonder if the people are being honest about how good it is? Oh it’s just me? Then ignore that question but let me just say this dish was amazing! Since beginning this transition I only have three recipes that I would confidently serve someone and this is one of them.

Now the red paper flakes were optional so I opted to add them to Mr. Smith’s steak 😈😇 and after one bite he added more peppers and more sauce. 

I followed the recipe exactly except I replaced the coconut milk in the sauce with soy milk. The crispy edges of the cabbage were divine. I’ve always doubted that I would be a fan of kale chips but now?!?! BRING IT ON!  Oh and did I mention the warm buttery center of the steak?!?! 🤤🙊😋

I honestly would not change a thing about this recipe and I can think of 100 other things to do with that sauce. Maybe use it on wraps, salad dressing, dip 🤔🤔🤔 you get the idea. 

So once I realized this meal would not be a flop I set the kitchen for a little husband and wife time (i.e. Clean the table, grab a left over party table cloth and light some candles). I sent the littles upstairs and I poured the sweet tea for my sweetie. It was a good night. 

True Story #386

One day I took my littles to a birthday party at a gymnastics center. All of the parents were sitting in the waiting area on bleachers watching their kids and chatting when in walks a parent and child I don’t recognize. She greets the hostess and proceeds to take her child’s jacket and shoes off. As she does this she begins to encourage him to “stay in the moment” and “let go and enjoy yourself”. My ears instantly perk up. Is this his social worker?  I’ve never heard a parent prep their child that way for a birthday party. It’s usually the opposite “please don’t embarrass me”, “be nice”, etc. So she sends him in and I watch and wait. I listen for clues and discover he is indeed her child. Other than that pep talk, all seems normal, until we start putting on coats to leave. “STAND DOWN!” “DISENGAGE!!” The mom takes off running towards him, the crowd, and my children. Now I’m running too! What is it?!  Is he attacking someone?!?  But when I get there I see nothing…I followed up and asked if that mom had any military background but the hostess didn’t know. #TrueStory